guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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