Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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