Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
