I am puke
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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