then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Drake has all the answers
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
