That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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