She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
