This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize