Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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