He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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