it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
