You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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