I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
