so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
