drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
