It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
