And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
