I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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