we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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