i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
