It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
