im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
