my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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