Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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