You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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