I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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