Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
