Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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