thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Text me some of your sweat
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
