hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
