come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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