you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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