One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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