I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
