Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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