It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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