Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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