So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
