I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
