Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it hurts more in the daytime
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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