when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How's work?
Spinning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
