conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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