i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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