I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
