At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
