I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
