do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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