that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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