I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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