I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
