2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
