Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
