i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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