I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just want to make out with him forever
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
