you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize