there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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