my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
