You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He had one of those small greek statue penises
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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