What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
