drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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