shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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