saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we're making bets on your personal life
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize